Hoping for a Better Christmas
by Allyson
Summary: Narnia's first Christmas but Edmund is reluctant to be in the festive spirit.


**_Narnia_ – Hoping for a Better Christmas.**

By Allyson.

(A/N – C. S. Lewis owns all of _Narnia_ and _Everyone Matters_ song clips are from _A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie_. I'm just having a little bit of fun at Christmas.)

Candlelight flickered warmly through the halls and corridors of Castle Cair Paravel. The twinkling light reflected from the delicate ornaments suspended on boughs of ivy, fir and mistletoe as welcoming fires burned in every open grate. A giant decorated Christmas tree dominated the Great Hall already surrounded by various Christmas presents that peeked out from underneath low-hanging branches. Haunting Narnian songs echoed cheerfully as carols were rehearsed for the upcoming celebrations. Everyone was excited as Narnia's first official Christmas approached. With the White Witch now defeated and Santa on the way, Christmas Day held a special excitement for all the Narnians – many of who couldn't remember ever celebrating Christmas before.

The newly crowned Kings and Queens of Narnia were all busy trying to complete all their preparations for the first Christmas away from home. Only one person was not looking forward to Christmas and was trying hard not to put a dampener on the festive spirit. Edmund was mechanically going through the motions of arranging for chairs and tables to be set up in the Great Hall for the guests who would arrive tomorrow.

"Come on, Ed, smile!" called out his little sister, Lucy, as she practically skipped passed trailing golden garlands. On the opposite end of the room, Mr Tumnus perched precariously on a chair trying to tie the end of the garlands to a picture hook. Lucy was in her element decorating the castle. "Don't be such a sourpuss – it's Christmas!"

She was gone before her brother could think of a reply. Stepping back into the safety of a forgotten alcove, Edmund felt something crash into his back. He cringed as he heard the telltale sound of breaking glass. Looking around, he found the broken remains of a dozen goblets and a cracked expensive punch bowl that had been put on the side of a table ready to be used.

"Oh, Edmund!" tutted Susan, disapprovingly, as she appeared from a nearby doorway and caused Edmund to jump in his skin.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, reaching out to pick up the shards of glass.

"No, don't touch it, Ed," Susan told him, tapping his hands away. "You'll cut yourself. I'll find a dustpan and brush. I hope they've got another punch bowl in the kitchens."

With an exasperated sigh and a swish of her skirts, Susan turned on her heels and hurried away. Feeling guilty, Edmund continued to pick up the larger pieces of broken glass and placed them inside the punch bowl. Afterwards, he decided it would be best if he went outside for some fresh air. On his way out of the door, Edmund passed his older brother, but Peter was too preoccupied trying to calm down a distraught looking cook to notice him.

"_I feel so small and useless,_

_Ambiguous and clueless._

_I just can't seem to get anything right._

_I feel so invisible tonight."_

Edmund flinched as the bitter cold wind slapped snow in his face. Shivering in the dropped temperature, he wrapped his arms around himself in an effort to stay warm before trudging out into the snow. The innocent blanket of white drained the colour from Edmund's cheeks. It brought back horrible memories and nightmares of his encounter with the White Witch. He tried desperately to blank his mind from thoughts of being a traitor to his family and the distress he had caused everyone. He welcomed the numb sensation of the frozen snow as it seeped through his boots, distracting him from his depressing thoughts.

"_All the plastic Santa's_

_Doin' hula dances,_

_Remind me that I don't belong._

_All the fake snow falling,_

_And my friends not calling _

_Leave me nothing but this song . . ."_

Finally allowing his legs to give out from the cold, Edmund slumped against the side of the castle and sat down in the snow. He ignored the seeping chill through his clothes and allowed the falling snowflakes to coat his hair. Miserable thoughts swamped his head.

"I don't deserve to be here," he sighed out loud to himself, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to rest on the wall. "I shouldn't be celebrating Christmas after how mean I've been to everyone. What have I to celebrate about?"

"_On the most miserable Christmas of my life,_

_The most miserable, horrible, obnoxious, intolerable Christmas . . ."_

"You should be celebrating that you're alive."

The sound of another voice startled Edmund and his eyes snapped open, his cheeks flaming in embarrassment at being overheard. In front of him stood his older brother, wearing an amused knowing smile on his face. Like Edmund, Peter had left the castle without a coat and was beginning to shiver from the cold. His expression became more sober as he studied his brother's appearance.

" . . . Unless you still doubt that Lucy shouldn't have saved you?" Crouching down next to his brother, Peter told him, "You deserve to be alive and you deserve to celebrate Christmas. It's a way of showing that we've all changed for the better. We've always celebrated Christmas together."

"This will be the first time without Mum and Dad," responded Edmund, sadly. "I may have been given a second chance here in Narnia but back home in Finchley I'll still be known as a beastly horrible child. I wish I could go back to before we went to the Professor's house and say goodbye to Mum properly. I never realized that it would be my last goodbye to her. I wish I'd been nicer to her."

"I wish Mum and Dad could be here with us now, too," agreed Peter, sincerely. He looked around at the white landscape about them, breathing crystals into the crisp air. "But, Ed? I know they'd want us to enjoy ourselves now and not worry about them."

"_If only I could go back_

_And take another crack,_

_At all the things I've left undone, I'd do them right._

_If I had my friends and family here tonight."_

It felt like they'd been sitting in the snow for hours. Their feet had turned numb and the stars were brightening up the night sky. Just when Peter thought his younger brother had fallen asleep, Edmund shifted beside him.

"You're right," Edmund murmured, breaking the comfortable silence. "Mum and Dad would want us to be happy. I'm sorry I haven't been in a Christmas mood."

Peter smiled slightly and reached over to ruffle his brother's hair. "I understand that winter brings back bad memories for you. To be honest, I'm not keen on the season myself. Just come and talk to me the next time you feel bad and not try to catch pneumonia out here. Let's go back inside, shall we? Before Susan finds out we both didn't wear coats."

"It is a little cold out here," grinned Edmund, getting to his feet and brushing snow off his clothes. "Thanks Peter."

Peter returned his grin as they headed indoors. "Anytime."

"_I'd have the most wonderful Christmas_

_Of my life."_

The End.


End file.
